So the more I think about it... these words come to mind and keep running through my head. Sometimes my past FEELS like someone else's life. Like I watched a movie through my own eyes. Oh that didn't happen to me, that was someone else... no actually it was me who kissed all those boys. LOL but my life began all over again in February of 1995 when I met my FFP. Since then even some of my memories feel so distant its like they belong to a chapter in the book I just skimmed by. I caught fragments but was so excited to get to the "GOOD PART" of today that I missed or lost so much info. It could have been from the epilogue and not even from the main novel. Does that make sense?
This week talking about music and thinking about other things like the smell of bread cooking or tasting no bake cookies that take me back to "me" in my epilogue of life. There are chapters that have been skipped over that I go back to for the details to make sense of today. (i.e. Will Huie did kick me out my own back yard while he was trying to put up a tent with my cousin Allen and James and he called me a brat too although he completely denied it yesterday. But I probably deserved it. What do you expect from an 8 year old girl when there's a bunch of boys in her backyard. LOL) I hadn't seen him or his brother in years but that memory came flooding back like it could have been yesterday. So many memories of that time in my life come back frequently when I think about James and Allen when we... ur... I was little. They always seemed so big to me. Those memories are like yesterday not over 20 years ago. Their dad singing... his voice still rings in my ears from when I was little. Again when he sang to Wyatt as a baby... in my heart like it was yesterday not 7 years ago.
The night I met my FFP, Feb 3rd 1995, I didn't actually make it to Paradise until morning I think, but while we (Sandy and I) were making the drive I heard a song Don McClean's American Pie, through for the first time all the way through and still I hear that song and I get flutters in my belly. I told her that night/morning, "I think I'm gonna marry him." She replied "who?" " Chris, the guy I danced with. Trey's cousin." I think she rolled her eyes. I mean I was only 16. It feels like yesterday.
Another song is "Just Once" by David Lee Murphy on the Eight Second soundtrack about Lane Frost the Bull Rider. I remember dancing at Scotty's Boat Landing to all those songs back when I could do western swing. Ohh the time I showed up with there with friends and a guy I had gone on a date with was there but FFP (before we started dating; he was there with his brother and friends) pulled me out onto the dance floor and although I tried, kinda, to deny him for fear of hurting the other guys feelings, FFP insisted and said, "As far as he knows, We're just friends." Total movie clip moment. Wow we had some fun there. Phew... All from that life before and when FFP started out. Bits and pieces of a puzzle that makes me *ME*. I am grateful for every single one of them.