Naughty Lady Party

So my friend Denise is getting married and I went to her bachelorette party/bridal shower hosted by my almost Ex-Sister-In-Law who I do not get along with at all and do not enjoy her presence in the least. I made an appearance for Denise but if I heard one more OHHH does that do this? Can you put that "down there"? Oh my man (new boyfriend) would LOOOVVVEEE that. EEWWWW. So what should have been enjoyable (except i don't really like applying things to my nipples or "down there" at a party full of girls so I refrained) if I had a ride home and a lot of booze, probably without my sister-in-law, it would have been a great time. Now my husband is off to the bars and to drool about naked girls at the local "establishment" for the bachelor party and I am home with the screaming kiddies. Lucky me.

I'm gonna set up a naughty lady party at night with lots of wine and Bacardi ice drinks and hire a cab to take everybody home so I can enjoy the party. Lots of toys and games OK girls? Fun, Fun, Fun. Its an order. No applying lotions to your nipples unless you have a man to go home to and since you will be drunk you can tell him all about the fun stuff you bought then make him wait for it to arrive in the mail. No applying things down there during a party. I just don't think its right. With a little alcohol I might not care, and Chris would probably allow it as long as it benefits him.