What in the heck happened this week?
It really amazes me how you can have such loyalty and devotion to a person but not really know who they are. Maybe I just chose not to see it, the bad hurtful stuff I mean. I think that with that toxic friendship I was sucked into thinking maybe she is right. That was stupid. I have become the target of this person and friends harassment and disrespect. I thought I had it all under control. I thought I could easily make it through this. I can't. I don't know if its because I am already fragile, being by myself all week, being mom and dad. I'm trying to balance family and work. I truly feel like I'm being kicked while I'm down. It has become far too personal tonight. They are using the C word. A word that I would kick my husband out the door, keep the kids, 3/4 of his paycheck, his retirement, the house, the guns, the dog and the new truck for using. It is very offensive and anyone who does not find it offensive must have absolutely no self esteem or self respect. It is harassment and it is wrong to use at any time much less at work. The part that is really killing me is that all over the "myspace" pages of those involved have been extremely condescending and specifically demeaning to me. Those who you who use the word are immature, ignorant, and extremely insensitive. I even had one of them give me an apology that obvious by the behavior today they truly didn't mean, just covered their asses. It is making it very difficult for me to go back to work. I have lost respect that I need to preform my job. I was perfectly fine until tonight when I finally lost it, wanted to throw things lost it. I am always amazed at the evilness of some people but will never understand it.