Tonight I know that my struggles and my issues are little compared to others. I know I really have no reason to complain. Tonight my heart struggles to do just that. There is a friendship that walks just out of my reach. This friendship was a mainstay for almost 3 years. We have watched out children grow and our husbands do boy things. We have met each others friends and taken time away from each other and found each other again.
I'm afraid that that is over though. This friend has gone through a tremendous stress and for her to be beyond us letting her help them, this is too much for me. For her to not want to be a part of our lives anymore and to avoid me for no other reason than to not relive any part of this past is too much for me.
In four months since this tragedy in their lives I've spoken to her twice, once on the phone, once in person with one of her other friends there. I ask questions that friends should be able to ask but she balks at. I don't know where the distance came from but its there and I'm afraid we'll never get that closeness back. Its not for a lack of trying. Its not for want. I've done all but begged and I don't know what else to do. I don't want to give it all up because her, her children, her husband live so alive in my heart although they are so far away in my life. I just don't know what to do next, and I'm so tired of it bringing me to tears.