So Tired

Geeze I wish I could say I was tired from my very first 20 mile run yesterday but I don't think thats it. I've really just been having trouble sleeping. Last night I was EXTATIC to get 6 1/2 hours almost completely uninterupted. I never had problems sleeping with the hubby not home before. In general he's not gone for this long, but I do spend at least 1/3 of the month with the whole bed to myself. Generally I love it. This trip he's taking to Colorado has really messed up my brain though. I have anxiety more than usual. It hits 9pm and I'm just not tired. I end up tossing and turning til I give up and pick up a book. I can't fall asleep reading, I actually have to take the book and lay it far away from me so I can put it out of my head or it will keep me up thinking about what I'm missing by not reading it. I put a strict 11pm lights out cerfew on my reading but had to forgo it last night. I only read for an hour before turning off the lights and closing my eyes.

My schedule is not changed much now that my oldest is well, then my youngest gets that cold but not as bad. I really just want a nap. Problem is then I'll have trouble falling asleep tonight. I'm afraid I might have trouble falling asleep anyhow. I don't know. I just wish the cycle could be broken, the anxiety overwith, the hubby home.